I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down in front of my computer to write and succumbed to the overwhelming fear that I have nothing to say. It’s a thing. The struggle is real.
I’m working on book two of my series and despite having a good outline and plot, the words escape me. Or rather I let fear push them away. *sigh*
It never used to be this way. I used to write entire novels in a month, racking up 1,667 words a day without hesitation. And now…. and now, I can’t seem to even write 16 words a day.
I could give you a whole list of “reasons” why I’ve fallen into this slump, but those reasons are more like excuses. The simple fact is that I’ve let fear in and the bastard won’t leave.
Last week I managed about 3,000 words spread over two days. Not nearly enough. This week (it’s Thursday) I’ve written zero words towards my novel. ZERO. I’ve written blog posts, which is good, but not exactly helping me to finish the novel.
I know what I need to do, and yet I can’t seem to do it. The longer I leave it, the harder it is to find my way back. I feel sick just writing about it. I think about all the words I could have written this year, this month, this week and I want to cry. I dig deep and rely on my coaching roots to pull myself up, but right now I feel so damn fragile that anything, and I mean anything, can set me off my writing course. My brain is focused on the ‘perfect conditions’ for writing, which is a stupid, fricking myth, and I know it! But stupid brain *pokes brain* is pig-headed and stubborn and won’t listen.
*bangs head against wall*
I tweeted that a few days ago and a lovely writer friend replied with this…
Because the struggle is real and she didn’t even need context.
I know I need to start small and build up to daily writing. I know that any amount of words is better than none. I know that the only way to push forward, is to PUSH FORWARD.
So why am I still stuck?
There’s a very good article here that makes a lot of sense. I think for me the stakes just aren’t high enough. It’s why I’ve always done so well during NaNoWriMo. Finish a novel of 50,000 words in November and compete against others? Yes, please!
So now I need to figure out how to replicate that feeling. Because I’m hooked on that feeling.
And now for your obligatory music related reference.
Oh and check out Angela Lynn’s debut novel All The What Ifs because it is AWESOME!
Featured image courtesy of Drew Coffman via Flickr