I’ve always been really into making to-do lists. There’s something super satisfying about being able to check off an item as complete. Productivity in motion! I’ve been so obsessed with lists that if I do something – like the dishes – that wasn’t already on the list, I’d add it just to cross it off.
I’ve never questioned my list making. Never thought it was anything but an excellent way to keep on top of things.
In the last few weeks (okay, months) I’ve been really resenting those lists. They glare at me and taunt me and the more they remind me of what I “need” to do, the more I dig my heels in. I have issues with being told what to do, clearly.
I’ve ALWAYS added write to my list and it used to feel great being able to check that off. Now when I look at that five letter word all I can think is …
MAKE ME, YOU SONUVABITCH!
Look, I have no idea if my list making is directly contributing to me not wanting to write, or do yoga, or meditate or the many other things I used to enjoy but now feel too much like chores, but I’m frustrated enough to try something different. So I’m ditching the lists, at least for now. I’m super tired of scheduling my days with to-do items that leave me feeling exhausted and empty.
And that’s exactly how I feel lately.
Remember when you were a kid on summer holidays and you woke up and just did whatever you felt like? That’s the feeling I’m craving. Now, before you say:
Yes, that’s all fine and dandy Angie, but what about #adulting?
Okay, I haven’t forgotten that I still need to do boring shit like laundry and making dinner etc. I KNOW! But that shit aside, can’t I just enjoy the rest of my day? Do I have to to-do list myself to death? Can’t I just wake up, drink my coffee and then decide in that moment what to do next?
We’re all preaching LIVE IN THIS MOMENT but in the same breath we’re also saying BE PRODUCTIVE AND ORGANIZED! GET SHIT DONE!
It’s madness and I’m done. So no more to-do lists. If shit gets missed OH WELL. No more adding write to my list because my petulant brain will automatically buck it.
Side note: I haven’t written blog on that list in awhile and you’ll notice I’ve been blogging more. Ah! Ah! Maybe there’s something to this. 🙂 Time will tell.
Are you a list maker? Do you ever feel those lists are a bit too bossy? Comment below!